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Digression (demo)

by Ikari

/

lyrics

"He came home. Said nothing.
It was clear, though, that something had gone wrong.
He lay down fully dressed.
Pulled the blanket over his head.
Tucked up his knees.
He's nearly forty, but not at the moment.
He exists just as he did inside his mother's womb,
clad in seven walls of skin, in sheltered darkness."

"In this memory, I am worthless,
worth being left on the ground so
I only keep the undefeated
spirit of a human being, I met
when you left me beggin’ at her feet.
fuck.
well I’ll never be able to tell
why “it’s not you, it’s me.”
means living a life set
with failure
when I’ve grown up
incomplete.
as best as I can tell,
there is no excuse
for introducing all of me
and at seven it’s hard to sell
a story of abuse
to the world of my
broken family.
you’re eight, it’s late
1996
the first snow of the year
blankets bright and thick
cold windows, cold wind
sore thumbs on rough brick
old sweater, loose threads
3 floors of broken sticks
I learned that day
as I lay out of sight
the bed of desperation
is dense and white
I earned that day
a sense of spite
for those with compassion
living life
I don’t mind not knowing
when it began
but everything was different
the snow turned sand
by the ocean,
I’m thinking, no time
to fight to stand when
a weathered and tired hand
Pulls me up
fuck
In this memory, I am worthless
In these memories of the unbreakable
women that I met
when you left us alone
and beat
you were nothing
so she denied you
well the only thing that
we could believe
we were nothing
so we denied you
a life without
responsibilities
one girl, three boys
one mother left alone
two years of here and there
every other weekend postponed
and always ruining me
is the thought that
I’m not good enough
I am no human being
But I am a human being
and from everything
I’ve seen I swear
I will end my life
like I’ve lived
in a blanket of snow
as no, human being
I am no, no human being"

credits

released May 18, 2021
Ariadne Anderson - Guitar, Bass, Drum Programming
Samuel Anderson - Guitar, Bass, Vocals
John Anderson - Producer
B. Rose - Instrument Supply

license

all rights reserved

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about

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Ikari Richmond, Virginia

Post-Hardcore from Richmond Virginia. God is in his heaven, all is right with the world. We strive for instrumentality.

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